Texts from Last Night

This is a site that I frequent daily. Thanks to my girl Lindsey for showing me this absurd, yet fall over laughing, material. Some of the posts include:

I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.


I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.


can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.


i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...


my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?


I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.


I'm fucking your sister right now.
(reply)You motherfucker
She's next.


My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow


i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
(Reply)i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.


Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade


Well, I would continue to post them on my blog, but I do have to go to work at some point today. So check out Texts from Last Night I promise laughter, shock, and for some disgust.

RoboCop (1987)

I had never seen this in its entirety until today. I know what you're thinking, "how can someone so awesome never have seen RoboCop" and my answer is simple...I was the oldest of three daughters. If my male cousins didn't watch it in front of me, I didn't know about it. I remember seeing parts of it as a kid and my mother would 1. make me leave the room 2. change the channel/turn it off 3. yell at me so I never caught it all. I sat down and with the aid of someone else's netflix (since I don't have it at home until I move) watched RoboCop...finally. I must say it was rather good. There was some typical guy stuff that I expected but the underlying plot was very human to me. So he dies, gets turned into a robot cop and still has emotion?? Good idea writers from the 80s. It worked for me!

Night of the Demons (2009)

This is a remake that I didn't hate. It has some notable "B" movie moments but the acting is done rather well, it's funny, and there are a few moments when I jumped a bit. Sure, Shannon Elizabeth goes over the top with the acting as she does in most of her films, but I can't deny the hilarity in it. I've seen the original years ago, and after watching this today, I think it's time to revisit the old school one as well.


This one takes a minute to get going, and while I'm usually impatient with movies that drag, this had other things to keep me entertained while waiting on the gore. The dialogue is decent, but not brilliant, which is to be expected as well.


The soundtrack is badass. With  The Babarellatones - Boris Karloff and Type O Negative - Black No. 1, I really dug it. It definitely had me thinking back to my more "evil" days. (Horns start sprouting....)

My mini-vacation

This weekend was my eldest son's birthday weekend. I planned a trip to Dothan for fun with the whole family while my sister is still visiting from Kansas. I must say, as exhausted as I am now, it was all worth it! We all had a blast and I look forward to my next trip down. I'm going to post some pics from this weekend to share the fun with all of you guys.

Sean (Birthday boy) didn't make it on the drive down. He crashed out by 9:30 which left me awake alone since Cory had already fallen asleep much earlier...I was thankful to decent radio/cds/mp3s at this point.

The obligatory "blowing the candles out" photos.

Alisha and Cory decided to get on stage and sing along with Chuck E. Cheese. Hilarity ensued!

Cory hamming it up with the giant robotic mouse!

So after the children were all tucked in bed. Amanda and I broke out the Faderade and SoCo/lime. This didn't last too long as neither of us really felt like drinking but there was a photo of us taking a shot together which has never been captured on film before. 

Alisha and David 

Then Alisha janked my phone and took pics of everyone (unfortunately that included me)

My nephew, Jaydon. I'm gonna miss his giggles when they go back to Kansas. I had a blast playing with that kid!

The Batman I got for "the boys" that will go on Mommy's Batman shelves. 

All in all, this weekend was great. I got no sleep, but had an amazing time with my family. I'm glad I could take the time to go and see them all. I can't wait until it warms up a bit and I can go back and hit the beach. 

Shocking Stripper stuff

Now that I have your attention...this post really is about strippers. I will admit that I rolled my eyes the first time someone suggested I watch this video; however, after the first few minutes I was in awe! These women train their bodies to do things that are astounding. So before you judge based on an exotic dancer in platform high heels, think of the athleticism that's required to pull off these moves. It's pretty badass! So this was my reasoning for wanting a pole about six months ago. I still don't have one and my body is no where close to what it's going to take for me to hold my own body weight...but a girl can dream.





I don't want anyone to ever see me try any of this, but I think it would be an amazing way to get into shape. There are even some tutorial videos online about different technical moves that are extremely far too advanced for anyone like me, but one day, I hope to at least try!

Piranha (2010)

Loved this movie! I keep watching it over and over again. One of my top five favorite movies in the horror genre for 2010!

Gaming through the years...

While updating my Facebook page (yes I still have one), I started contemplating my favorite things. I've mentioned my favorite books here, my favorite music, my favorite shoes, but never my favorite games. This is sad because since I was small nerd, I have played video games. I'm going to compile a list of my favorites of all time!

Starting with The Legend of Zelda

It was a great game that I spent countless hours playing as a little kid. This is the game that is in my original NES right now!

Next is Street Fighter II 

I like all of the games in this franchise, but if made to choose, I'm going to pick 2. I guess I just played it more than the others, but it's safe to say I've lost many hours to SF in general. 

Then we have... Mortal Kombat Deception 

The plot of Deception wasn't the greatest, I will admit, but I played the hell out of this game and loved it. Meh!



Then we have a trip into some scary shit with Silent Hill 2







Now for cheesy RPGs I loved Final Fantasy X. Yes I could say Final Fantasy VII was the greatest game ever! and then I would sounds just like everyone else. I liked X and unfortunately never finished it because some asshole stabbed my disc with a pen *super sad face* Note for those who are jealous of games...acting like a bitch doesn't make us want to spend time with you either. Just let us play and then you can get attention. ugh. That being said...ten is my favorite because it was sacrificed like so many others things over the years.

It is mandatory for me to pick a Shooting game, so I'm going to pick Halo 2. No real reason that I can explain why this is my fav Halo. I just like it, okay!

Finally (because I could go on for days) I will give you my all time favorite game. The game that I went without sleep for, without food, without water...the game that I would love to have now and never leave my sofa....Saga Frontier






Asellus was by far my favorite character to play in this game. I wish I still had this one as well...live and learn I guess.

I hope this had made you all reminiscent of games gone by. Until next post...

Oh yeah Happy Dead Presidents Day! (wait..I think that's something entirely different...um) you know what I mean!

Hot Kicks

For those of you who live on another planet and don't know I work in a mall...Journey's has become my go to for shoes for everyday wear. I do love some hooker heels, but they aren't always appropriate, so I stick with a few brands I love in the sneaker department.

First up is a pair similar to those I wear every day. I love DCs for comfort and style. By far the most versatile kicks ever!


59.99 DC Graffik Court SE Skate

Then we're off to Converse (which I know I already own more than my share of...) These caught my eye months ago and I keep going back to them. I know they are for dudes, and since I wear a 5/6 in mens, I may have a problem finding these in my size, but damn, I want 'em!


54.99 Converse All Star Hi Joker Batman

 
Then to old school ADIDAS! I love these shoes and will be adding them to my collection next.


64.99 Adidas Superstar II Black/Pink



And just because I can't stop myself from posting sexy ass heels here...



IRON FIST Muerte Punk Platform Heels 51.00 from
 http://www.monstermarketplace.com/harley-merchandise/iron-fist-muerte-punk-platform-heels-ifl0071


This sums up another OMG shoes post. Hope I've opened your eyes to awesome footwear yet again, and if not, I've enjoyed browsing the net for shoes for myself.

Art is for Smart People

Found something I like...thought I'd share :D You are all welcome! I haven't been able to post anything about this subject matter because of someone's birthday gift yesterday. Now that the gift is given I can devulge my new obsession with the world. I can't wait to move into my new place and start making with the Batman artwork! I have found some that I absolutely love and don't give a DAMN if that is normal or not. I am fully aware that it may be strange for a 27 year old woman to want this form of art...screw off! Now onto the awesome...

 

There are likely thousands of prints I want to order, but will try to keep it at a normal level *TRY*. I'm thinking this theme will eventually take over my home, considering I have shelves full of Batman and Catwoman Barbies and Batman lunchboxes...Makes me happy so I'll keep it up.

Hope everyone has a great Friday and a wonderful weekend to follow.

A little Drunken History

We all know that person who gets too drunk and talks dumb shit. In most situations that person is usually me...at least it's entertainment (for the most part) Just dont kick people, lose your pants or roll down hills into mud and all is well! I swear I'm going to start asking drunk people questions and recording their answers in High Def! This might be funny stuff!

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Nobody (1996)

Staying with the Valentine's Day theme so far this week, WBW's post is all about the baby makin music. This song has memories for me, but none of them include anything sexual. How depressing is it that one of the sexiest songs ever reminds me of driving around acting stupid? I guess I'll have to change that one day, but until then I'll just sing along with Athena! So lay back, light some candles, slip into something a bit more comfortable...and groove to the smooth sounds of Keith Sweat!

My Bloody Valentine (1981)

This years Valentine's day proved better than I could have expected. It's good to have someone who knows you well enough to realize how cool My Bloody Valentine as a VD gift is for me. Since I couldn't watch it yesterday, I figured it would make a great Terror Tuesday post and I get to share how much I loved my gifts {The other was Valentine (2001)} I can't think of a better gift, except my handmade perfect card that I would share here, but would like to keep some things to myself!!! So while I bitch and rant about how much I dislike the commercialism of holidays, it doesn't mean I don't enjoy the sentiment of them. Now back to this weeks TT post...

This is one my all time favorite slashers from the late 70s early 80s. I must admit that while watching it alone in the dark tonight, I did get a bit jumpy! So the story goes twenty years after a Valentine's day mining tragedy people start dropping dead. It follows some of the old school "horror rules", so you know whoever has sex, drinks to excess, does any recreational drugs, or is a smart ass....is a goner. Some of the acting in this film is to be expected for what it is, but for the most part it is a great movie. My Bloody Valentine definitely accomplishes what it should with me and makes me feel like someone is watching me. (yay for paranoia alone in the dark)

It's definitely worth a buy for me. I actually am really glad to have it again after losing my other copy earlier this year. If you haven't seen it, you should. I still haven't seen the remake and don't know that I want to, honestly. I love this version and don't need stupid 3D to make me like this one any better...

Enjoy

My Bloody Valentine

VD message from Angela

I'm not bitter or hard to be happy. Give me a bloody movie, good food and a bottle of Vodka, and that spells romance! I'm simple. So in honor of all things <3 and love, I give you a Valentine's Day song for the ages. May your Monday be all you want it to be, whatever that actually is. Me, I'm gonna work a double, go home and possibly watch gory movies until I pass out.

Enjoy H.I.M.

Happy Valentine's Day

BITCHES

On a side note: I did have a great "I like you weekend" just sayin! Thanks for everything :D

Evil holiday Conspiracies

Yet again, it's time for another useless holiday. One where our capitalist economy gets a boost from all the "lovey dovey" bullshit. I think I hate this holiday more than any other. VDay or Valentine's Day to some of you, is nothing more than a mere excuse to spend an exorbitant amount of cash on impressing others of interest. I understand buying gifts for those who mean something in your life, but buying chocolate hearts and giant overstuffed pandas that serve no actual purpose is anything but romantic in my opinion. My biggest pet peeve in society is those who follow the flock and these useless holidays remind me how large the flock has grown. Don't buy your girl a box of chocolates and then expect her not to ask if her ass looks big, it's a vicious cycle that is consistently perpetuated when you buy crap! Instead, buy your significant other something of actual use. Some toilet paper perhaps...maybe groceries....or even a book. But the stupid meaninglessness that is the stuffed animal/candy/hearts combo, leave on the shelf.

Now sexy clothing I get. It's hot, provides a purpose, and everyone loves it. So buy your girl some sexy (under)pants and be happy. Just don't go over the top with pointless mushy stupidity. If you want to get romantic, choose a gift based on the actual interests of an individual not what the holiday itself has to offer. I'm not the best authority on this subject but I do possess girl parts and am pretty damn female, so you can trust me when I say your girl won't be pissed with a gift that you put personal thought into rather than a quick jaunt down the RED aisle at your local Supermarket.

GIVE BLOOD!!!!

mmm still warm

While on the subject of "red". It's still Women in Horror Month and Massive Blood Drive is still in effect, so if you haven't given a pint yet...please do so soon. I did and feel much better for it. Not that I have a super rare blood type (A pos is not a big deal) but someone may need it one day, maybe even myself lol. So go out and let the lovely people stick needles into your arm and slowly take from your selfish ass to give to others in need. 

Doing my part!

If you do find the time to donate blood. Be sure to let me know!!! Send pics even. We all want to see you BLEED!!!!

The Adventures of Lil Cthulhu

Superbowl Sunday

This year's Superbowl is not a big deal to me. Why you ask, I hate...loathe...despise both teams. It makes it hard to choose a side when I want them both to lose! That being said, I think if I had to choose (like forced at gunpoint to pick a shitty team) I'd choose the Steelers. Meh. I really really really hate Green Bay, so Steelers it is. I'm thinking I'm going to enjoy my day doing typical "woman chores" and be happy with that! So while I do laundry and slosh mop water, hope you all enjoy the STUPIDbowl.

Average "Cheeseheads". Notice the mullet! NICE!

Words cannot express how stupid this looks!

Yeah, I'm definitely going to pick the Steelers. How can anyone side with people who are so ridiculous? Well I know I definitely can't. Why couldn't the Bears have just won, then I'd be less moody today, or better yet the Falcons...Oh yeah, I know why...because that's what I want and I can't have what I want! Ok, I'll stop my bitching and get back in the kitchen now...

For a giggle

I found this on a blog I frequent and thought I'd share it here. JoeyMax's blog has made me laugh so hard I cried on numerous occasions with the "how do I do laundry" or "grocery shopping" but the latest vent on how he hated giving massages (I feel sorry for his wife lol) had an extra little humor added. This video almost feels sacrilegious because I love Mortal Kombat so much, but even that can't stop me from laughing right now. So I give you: Gay Mortal Kombat

Crybaby (1989)

Yet another WBW and I know this one will receive mixed reviews. I happen to love John Waters' films. Cecil B. Demented was great...Pink Flamingos was disturbing...and Hairspray was decent in it's own mainstream way. But Crybaby is by far, the best for me! Of course I love Johnny Depp. Find one person who doesn't think he's attractive and I'll call 'em a liar. He is especially attractive as a motorcycle riding, rock n rolling, badass!


Crybaby is great for the campy humor that John Waters is known for. I still sing along with the movie's songs and secretly wish I could be more "vampy" after watching it. One of these days I'm going to buy a low cut shirt, some tight pants, and red lipstick to wear with my hooker heels! Any movie where a woman is called "hatchet face" has to be good, right?

I'm really glad I found this one in the $5 bin tonight. I've wanted it for a while! I can't say it's worth a buy for everyone, but definitely a watch at least. If nothing else you'll get a laugh at Hatchet Face!

Oh and for you guys...Traci Lords herself is in this one. Yes, that Traci Lords! Not to mention, Iggy Pop!

 

Like it or hate it...It's this week's WBW! And posting this has made me the happiest (pseudo) juvenile delinquent in Alabama!

American Psycho (2000)

This weeks Terror Tuesday is one of the best movies ever! American Psycho is based on a novel by Bret Easton Ellis (One really messed up dude!) A few of his other novels have been adapted into films but none with the success of American Psycho. Less than Zero is another great book/movie. Definitely check it out sometime.
 Now back to the masterpiece that is American Psycho....Set in the 80s, which you all know I adore, it takes a new view on the decade from the Wall Street, yuppie life. This is the film that started my obsession with all things Christian Bale. The opening monologue is simply brilliant. It sets the tone for everything else, the selfishness, the envy, the shallow thoughts of a man... He has a few throughout the movie that are hilarious. The narration is smart and witty, while still being creepy and strange which makes this such a great movie. He is a horrible guy in so many ways but is terrifying and funny simultaneously. More than anything, the ending still screws with my head. If I'm ever really stressed, I watch this and think...at least I'm not as psycho as Patrick! Did I mention I love all things Christian Bale! Yes, he is a hot Welshman. He has an amazing ass (which you see a few times in this movie). He is BATMAN! More than anything else, he is usually a great actor. I have seen some of his work that may have been lacking in some way or another, but this one movie more than makes up for those.

It's hip to be square!

Narcissism at its best

I have the need to listen to Phil Collins and paint the room red, and I've got to return some video tapes now. Until you drop by again...