Monday, March 1, 2010

Working hard to be good

It can be said that I've not been the most supportive, positive and enthusiastic person I could have been. It could be said I'm ruthless, hurtful, and cold...I believe I was never those things before, and have become hardened by years of being used like a worthless plaything. What makes someone's personality take such a drastic nosedive into blahdom? Useless taunts and empty promises are never enough to push someone over the edge...what does? I've tried to keep an open mind and see past all of these walls and lies from everyone around me, but all I find is more lies. I've never been one to try to hurt someone for my own personal gain and still don't...but I will say, if you cut, I cut deeper, if you hit, I hit harder...keep it in mind before you start anything with me. I've waited a lifetime being subservient to those who don't deserve servitude, and now I'm pissed! Maybe I'm mad at myself...maybe at all of the times I've been walked on. I'm betting on both...but trust me that I won't be anyone's doormat anymore and I've bitten my tongue for the last time!

On a positive note (see I am trying!!) My school papers are finally finished...I found someone today who knew what they were actually talking about and took care of everything! No more waiting on paperwork to be approved, I'm good to go! I've worked on catching up homework and found that I enjoyed it. Two weeks away and it was like coming home to an old friend. I hope things stay this way...

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