Soap Box

I have to start by saying it's been one Hell of a Thanksgiving!

I feel as though I've traveled more in a week than in the last year. After all of this traveling, I couldn't prepare myself for what was ahead of me...
This weekend created serious family drama. Not in my household but in another. I think I handled it admirably, but looking at others reactions continues to depress me. I want nothing more than to scream, yell and fight for what I believe in knowing all to well it will only cause more issues. I feel as though people turn other people's problems into their own for selfish reasons. I can't ever seem to voice these opinions, because as soon as the words escape my mouth it's an all out war. I give up being helpful and courteous, and have just become complacent. While I am trying to grasp this complacency I still want to scream from the rooftops..."grow up"!!! Not everything revolves around one person. This universe is so multifaceted and complex; I'll never comprehend how people are so egocentric to make themselves the center of it. I'm not saying I myself don't need/want attention sometimes, we all do, but in this situation, lets not make it about ourselves when the problems being faced have absolutely nothing to do with "us"!

Culture

I want Culture! I'm sick of living in the middle of nowhere with nothing but a laptop and dvd collection. Not that I don't love both of these things, it's just not cohesive to my goal of widening my horizons.

I bought my husband some canvases, with which he's done absolutely nothing and I feel like I wasted money that is too precious at this moment. Why do I try if it gets us nowhere? I thought it best for each of us to have an outlet and neither of us utilize them. It's a waste. I guess it could be said that we have high ambitions that we just disregard for pipe dreams. I will no longer be satisfied by sitting on the sofa watching "Justice League" and feeling myself get fatter...and on that note...

I'm sick of being overweight. I know EVERYONE says this, but I've spent the majority of my adult life hating the way I look and feel. I make efforts to change this but always fall short of the goals I've set for myself. I need some ideas on something I'll stick to when it comes to working out. In our house, we eat pretty well normally. I just have become almost sedentary and do little to nothing to burn a calorie, unless it's breathing.

Stress

So I've been trying to quit smoking to the discomfort of my family. I think I've yelled more in the last week than I have in ages. I want to stop but it's hard and I feel somewhat stressed more than usual because of Scouts, school and, of course, money. Maybe this wasn't such a great time to set this goal.

I'm also having trouble with the school and my financial aid paperwork. I've faxed them the "required" forms 3 times to have them e-mail me and say they haven't received it. Are they seriously this unorganized that they can't file and process 4 pieces of paper? What's the deal? Not to mention, my grades have taken a nosedive in the last week. I still have a 4.0, but I am barely grasping it now. If it falls anymore I'll scream. The veterans association sucks with the GI bill. I'll not receive a check for another month it seems and I've filed ages ago.

On a good note, I did get some cleaning caught up this weekend, so I don't feel like such a slob. I just know that this next week is going to be killer around the house. I have a few places to go for Thanksgiving as well as the Cub Scout bake sale on Wednesday; I guess I'll be baking all day Tuesday...yay me. I just want things to go smoothly and maybe some of my stress will dissipate.