Texts from Last Night

This is a site that I frequent daily. Thanks to my girl Lindsey for showing me this absurd, yet fall over laughing, material. Some of the posts include:

I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.


I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.


can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.


i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...


my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?


I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.


I'm fucking your sister right now.
(reply)You motherfucker
She's next.


My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow


i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
(Reply)i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.


Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade


Well, I would continue to post them on my blog, but I do have to go to work at some point today. So check out Texts from Last Night I promise laughter, shock, and for some disgust.

RoboCop (1987)

I had never seen this in its entirety until today. I know what you're thinking, "how can someone so awesome never have seen RoboCop" and my answer is simple...I was the oldest of three daughters. If my male cousins didn't watch it in front of me, I didn't know about it. I remember seeing parts of it as a kid and my mother would 1. make me leave the room 2. change the channel/turn it off 3. yell at me so I never caught it all. I sat down and with the aid of someone else's netflix (since I don't have it at home until I move) watched RoboCop...finally. I must say it was rather good. There was some typical guy stuff that I expected but the underlying plot was very human to me. So he dies, gets turned into a robot cop and still has emotion?? Good idea writers from the 80s. It worked for me!

Night of the Demons (2009)

This is a remake that I didn't hate. It has some notable "B" movie moments but the acting is done rather well, it's funny, and there are a few moments when I jumped a bit. Sure, Shannon Elizabeth goes over the top with the acting as she does in most of her films, but I can't deny the hilarity in it. I've seen the original years ago, and after watching this today, I think it's time to revisit the old school one as well.


This one takes a minute to get going, and while I'm usually impatient with movies that drag, this had other things to keep me entertained while waiting on the gore. The dialogue is decent, but not brilliant, which is to be expected as well.


The soundtrack is badass. With  The Babarellatones - Boris Karloff and Type O Negative - Black No. 1, I really dug it. It definitely had me thinking back to my more "evil" days. (Horns start sprouting....)

My mini-vacation

This weekend was my eldest son's birthday weekend. I planned a trip to Dothan for fun with the whole family while my sister is still visiting from Kansas. I must say, as exhausted as I am now, it was all worth it! We all had a blast and I look forward to my next trip down. I'm going to post some pics from this weekend to share the fun with all of you guys.

Sean (Birthday boy) didn't make it on the drive down. He crashed out by 9:30 which left me awake alone since Cory had already fallen asleep much earlier...I was thankful to decent radio/cds/mp3s at this point.

The obligatory "blowing the candles out" photos.

Alisha and Cory decided to get on stage and sing along with Chuck E. Cheese. Hilarity ensued!

Cory hamming it up with the giant robotic mouse!

So after the children were all tucked in bed. Amanda and I broke out the Faderade and SoCo/lime. This didn't last too long as neither of us really felt like drinking but there was a photo of us taking a shot together which has never been captured on film before. 

Alisha and David 

Then Alisha janked my phone and took pics of everyone (unfortunately that included me)

My nephew, Jaydon. I'm gonna miss his giggles when they go back to Kansas. I had a blast playing with that kid!

The Batman I got for "the boys" that will go on Mommy's Batman shelves. 

All in all, this weekend was great. I got no sleep, but had an amazing time with my family. I'm glad I could take the time to go and see them all. I can't wait until it warms up a bit and I can go back and hit the beach.