James Erwin

Today I lost someone who has made me laugh and cry, made me angry and crazy happy. I can say he was a friend at the worst of times and my big brother in the best. I've cleaned his blood off of carpet, threatened to beat him up for being stupid and shared his joy when things were going right. Our conversations have been countless and I've gained so much from them over the years. Looking back, I know things are better for him now, but that doesn't make the hurt any less. In the past few days of him being in the hospital, people have come together to talk about the good times, bad times and all out insane times. Through divorces and drugs, love and hate, losses and wins, he was always there for everyone. Not many can say they were the same for him. I know some gave up on him without a second glance and for those people I can honestly say, you guys missed out. Upon seeing a guy covered in tattoos, some of you turned your nose up, the rest of us...saw Swerve.

I can remember meeting him back when I was a kid. He was nuts. Years later, he was still nuts. One of the most fun loving and sweet men to ever end up in my life. I don't know any other friend I've talked with like I did Swerve. He listened to my problems and cried with me through what seemed like endless turmoil. I listened and when he asked for advice, I gave it as freely as I knew how. Sometimes it seemed like he didn't listen, other times I realized my advice just wasn't the right advice for him. My last conversation with him was wonderful. We discussed how it sucks getting old and going gray, the need for me to finally get my Batman tattoo, religion, and mostly how great he felt being sober. I told him I loved him and that he made me proud. He would always be my big crazy brother. I promised I'd be back to finish my Alice stuff and I'd get a couple more tattoos as soon as I could. I can care less if he stayed sober. I can care less if you liked him at all. I just wanted to type into words what a great friend he was to me.

No matter what...I love you, Bro. I always will. I hate that I will never hear your goofy laugh or your silly sayings. I hate that we can't have five hour chats about Dali and art. I hate that we can't get all Juggalo together. I know you are more at peace now than you ever were here on Earth, but I would give anything to have another chance to sit and do all of those things. You have no idea the impact you've left on those you came in contact with. Positive or negative, no one can say you were boring. I just hope you knew how much you were loved and what a ripple effect you had on all of us. MMFCL!